Mastering Virtual Meetings: Using Proxemics to Make Online Chats Better

My partner recently mentioned that he’d heard the QI Elves discussing how proxemics—a concept originally about personal space—can apply to virtual meetings. It had never occurred to me before, but the idea struck a chord so I started doing a bit of digging and it started to make sense.

What’s Proxemics, Anyway?

Proxemics, a concept from the 1960s (thanks, Edward Hall!), is about personal space and how close (or far) we feel comfortable with others. In face-to-face settings, there are four main zones:

• Public: Over 12 ft. – Like a speaker addressing a crowd.

• Social: 4-12 ft. – Great for professional chats or meeting new people.

• Personal: 1-4 ft. – Think catching up with friends.

• Intimate: Less than 1 ft. – Reserved for those you’re super close to.

In virtual meetings, these zones blur. Too close to the camera? You’re accidentally in someone’s "intimate space" (awkward!). Too far back? You might come off as distant or overly formal. Striking the right balance matters more than you’d think.

Why Virtual Meetings Can Feel Off

In-person, we rely on loads of subtle cues—like where someone’s looking, their posture, or how they’re holding their coffee cup—to read the room. Virtual meetings can feel a bit awkward because we struggle to understand how people are using the space online and so our cues are reduced which results in us misinterpreting things. Whether it’s figuring out where to look, dealing with odd camera angles, or misreading someone’s pause (are they thinking or did their Wi-Fi freeze?), things don’t always flow like they do in person. These challenges don’t mean virtual meetings are doomed—we just have to be more intentional about how we show up.

How to Make Proxemics Work Online

Here are some practical ways to use proxemics and make your virtual meetings feel better for everyone:

1. Give People Breathing Room

Nobody likes being bombarded with emails, chats, and follow-ups all at once. Respect people’s response times to keep things feeling balanced and friendly.

2. Show Some Nonverbal Love

Look into the camera to simulate eye contact, use facial expressions, and sit up straight. If you’re naturally gesturing as you talk, get your hands in the frame—it makes things feel livelier.

3. Tidy Up Your Space

A clean, well-lit background says you’re organised and focused (bonus: it’s less distracting for everyone else). No need to overthink it—just keep it simple.

4. Dress for the Occasion

Your outfit sets the tone. Even if you’re working from your kitchen, wear something that matches the vibe of the meeting.

5. Find the Sweet Spot for Your Camera

Place your camera at eye level and about arm’s length away. This keeps you in the "social zone"—not too close, not too far—and makes interactions feel more natural.

6. Speak Clearly and Confidently

It’s harder to read people’s body language online, so make sure your words come through loud and clear. Don’t be afraid to pause now and then for emphasis.

It’s All About Balance

At the end of the day, proxemics is about finding the sweet spot. Whether it’s your camera setup, your tone of voice, or how often you follow up, small adjustments can make a big difference in how people feel during virtual meetings.

So, next time you hop on a call, think about your digital "space." Are you coming across the way you want to? With a few tweaks, you can turn any virtual meeting into a productive and even enjoyable experience.

Got your own tips for mastering virtual meetings? Drop them in the comments—I’d love to hear from you!